Brandon Teena (born Teena Renae Brandon) was an American trans man, a female to male transgender person, who was raped and murdered in Humboldt, Nebraska.
In 1999, Teena became the subject of a biopic entitled Boys Don’t Cry, starring Hilary Swank as Teena, which gave Swank an Academy Award for Best Actress.
JoAnn Brandon (Teena’s mother) publicly objected to the media referring to her child as “he” and “Brandon”. Following Hilary Swank’s Oscar acceptance speech, JoAnn Brandon took offense at Swank for thanking “Brandon Teena” – the name Teena Brandon adopted – and for referring to her as a man. “That set me off,” said JoAnn Brandon. “She should not stand up there and thank my child. I get tired of people taking credit for what they don’t know.“
This might be a little off the story above and not too similar, but has the same point. I really hate people who carelessly used the words “I’m so proud of you”. Whatever happens, mostly when someone achieves something, it is them who stand up and address the message. It is like, other people want to claim the victory for what we have achieved, as if it is them who have made it. Think about it. “I’m proud of you” ? For what? A thing I’ve achieved? Triumph over the dark period of my life? People don’t know what I have been through. And if they do so, they still wanna take credit for it, and claim the glory. And with that, added a sympathetic-like sound. Which, far deep in their hearts, there goes “You wouldn’t be without me, or my help.” What the hell.
I will more accept if they used the words “I’m happy for you”. I think everyone can see the difference. It is the most sincere, honest, truthful expression anyone can use, and without taking the honor over from someone. It’s just that, not every time, every person who claim that they are proud of me is really know what is going on. And the thoughtfulness sound doesn’t help. It doesn’t FIT the situation. No one should use words that they don’t really understand.
Please don’t take the wrong way, I love Hilary Swank, but I have to be on JoAnn’s side this time.
Well, it’s just me. Just my thought. TSS.