cerita

Goodbye, Tokopedia.

Satu lagi app yang jadi korban uninstall di hp gw, plus gw berjanji tidak akan browsing website-nya lagi dari komputer gw. Behold, “pasar / mal online terbesar di Indonesia”, Tokopedia!

Well, gw ga akan bertindak begini, kalau saja accusation dari pihak sananya gak kebangetan. Begini ceritanya…

Kemarin, gw beli pulsa di sana. Kebetulan ada promo cashback pakai kode. Transaksinya lancar, mulai dari pembelian hingga pembayaran, dan pulsa pun berhasil masuk ke nomor gw.
Di detik yang sama, ada e-mail aneh masuk ke inbox gw. Daripada susah susah gw ketik disini, here is a screenshot for your convenient reading:

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“Lebih dari satu akun” ? Um… seingat gw sih, gw yang paling tahu ada berapa akun yang gw pakai buat platform bernuansa ijo ini, dan sejak dulu hingga sekarang memang cuma ada SATU AKUN! Kenafa oh kenafa tiba tiba ada email otomatis (yep, I am very confident that it was an auto-reply mail) yang bilang gw melanggar + punya lebih dari satu akun + a cocky warning ya?

And then, you know what happened next. Being an emotional person that I am, pertama gw naik darah dulu, terus gw balas deh email tersebut. Inti balasannya adalah, gw minta penjelasan mengapa gw dituduh mempunyai lebih dari satu akun. Gw sertakan juga screenshot transaksi pulsa gw yang mana gw cuma bertransaksi satu kali. Dan tentu saja, balasan email gw berupa hurup kapital seluruhnya, huahaha…

Sambil menunggu balasan kembali, gw mencoba mengira-ngira penyebab tuduhan tersebut.

  1. Apa karena gw bayar pulsa itu sebagian pakai Tokocash. Tapi, bukan berarti gw melakukan pelanggaran lebih dari satu akun untuk mendapatkan keuntungan promo, dong?
  2. Apa karena gw bayar sebagian pakai Tokocash + pakai kode promo untuk cashback, jadi dianggap double advantage? Hmm.. kayaknya sih ngga ya, ‘kan Tokocash itu duit gw juga dalam bentuk virtual? Dan, bukan berarti gw melakukan pelanggaran lebih dari satu akun untuk mendapatkan keuntungan promo, dong?

Jadi, kenapa nih? Kenapa si logo ijo dengan teganya bilang gw melanggar dan punya banyak akun? Lalu gw diberikan peringatan dalam hal apa dong ya?

Nah, hari ini muncul deh balasannya.

Screenshot_20171121-172030

Umm… hello? Seingat gw, email gw sebelumnya bukan komplain mengenai cashback yang (tidak pasti) gw dapatkan, tapi minta penjelasan mengenai tuduhan sepihak dari mereka. Dan dalam balasan email hari ini, dengan arogannya mereka bilang transaksi gw sudah direvisi dan cashback sudah dikasih. Gw jelas jelas mengatakan di email, kalau memang gw tidak berhak dapat cashback, tidak apa apa, tapi jangan tuduh gw “melanggar dengan berpartisipasi menggunakan lebih dari satu akun untuk mendapatkan keuntungan promo”.
It’s like, lu nuduh gw bikin KTP ganda dengan identitas berbeda supaya gw bisa ngawinin banyak laki kaya (well, not a very proper analogy here but, you get what I mean).
Dan jelas pula email balasan terakhir dari mereka tidak menjelaskan KESALAHAN yang mereka buat sendiri, apalagi meminta maaf, instead mereka “membujuk” gw dengan bilang “ya udah, lu cerein deh salah satu laki lu (yang mana ga pernah gw kawinin karena KTP gw cuma 1), nih gw kasih harta gono-gini yang kemarin gw janjiin”. What a spineless cocky move. I don’t even know how they walk!

The solution was settled (they assumed). Dan dari pihak gw juga melakukan apa yang menurut gw langkah terbaik: hapus semua wishlist, uninstall app dari hp, hapus bookmark dari browser, dan berjanji tidak akan browsing atau belanja lagi dari platform tersebut. God of stop-shopping, give me strength!

TSS,

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cerita, vegan

Note to self: “I come in peace.”

Well that sounds like an alien invasion.

But yeah, it feels like it, been alienated all along.

 

This month marks my 6th month since my first decision of becoming vegan. And through this journey so far, one thing that I most learn is that, there are always at least one person that will be so actively defensive, than supportive, in the first place, when hearing someone they know has switched sides. Maybe there is one in every family. In fact, that happened within mine. The phrases and sentences such as “What are you, a Hindu?”, “You’re a dog.”, “…according to the Bible!”, etc. made it even hurtful especially when told with such a insulting tone. Well first of all, if you don’t realize, you are insulting a religion, my friend.

I’m just confused and can’t bring myself to believe that there are some people, who are so afraid, that the truth would harm them, so they defend so hardly, before the opposite pushes them a little further. That’s what I learned. People are so afraid, but they defend nothingness. It is a fascinating contrast and somewhat cringe-worthy.

 

The only thing I regret from that moment though, that I went emotionally, and could not bring myself to give more peaceful and reasonable arguments. I was a sad vegan firstly because of what humans have done to animals, but also because I couldn’t act as a reasonable one in front of non-vegans. Probably because of the anger towards their defensive reactions, and that I should learn how to deal with them more effectively. Oh, how I miss my peaceful days.

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cerita

2013: Year of Letting Go.

Is it?

For me, yes. I’ve had this perception from the very early 2013, and the words “letting go” have been running in my head ever since. Not to mention I broke the one and only high-end full-bottle foundation ever in my stash, and it made me think of whether or not it was a sign. Since when did I start to believe in superstition? 😀

Okay, let’s go back… It is about releasing bad past. I’ve had a thought that something good would just happen to me, and… it still hasn’t happen yet. And damn I just realized that now. This is the real world, where anything is REAL, and anything is fought about, and I might as well not live it only by dreaming. I hope it’s not too late. I hope, I am not too attached to someone in particular, if it makes me forget about other chances and opportunities out there.

I don’t wanna expect something big, if it wasn’t because of myself, and my hard work, and what I dream of. I want to see if I can be better person this time.

Of course, I still accept the fact that I might not be the best person worth fighting for. That’s why – maybe, sometimes – I fight back, alone. I might not be good enough for everyone. That’s why I always try to be good at least for myself. And I am okay, I don’t feel sorry for it. I don’t regret. And this might sound a little bit forced, but yes, I force myself to be happy. Because happiness is not something someone creates for you, it is something you decide to feel. It is there, you just have to have the will to feel it.

Nothing and no one harmed here, and no apologizes needed. This is only my thoughts. Everyone wants to be better, that if they still have the will to improve and grow.

So for who-ever out there, you know who you are. This is my time to thank, throw anything behind my back, and go forward.

This Michelle Branch’s song, the lyrics, really represents 99% of the title, and what I’m feeling right now.

Of all the things I’ve believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry, 
counting the days that pass me by

I’ve been searchin’ deep down in my soul,
words that I’m hearin’ are starting to get old,
it feels like I’m starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I say

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can’t live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light, but it’s not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Hold on to…
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what’s yours and I want what’s mine,
I want you,
but I’m not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to 

and when the stars fall I will lie awake, 
you’re my shooting star.

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cerita

Blue Bird.

Pengalaman ini barusan kejadian kemaren malem. Intinya, gw order taxi Blue Bird ke kantor di Pulogadung untuk jam 7 malem. Tujuan ke Kelapa Gading. Seperti biasa, sms konfirmasi dari Blue Bird masuk ke hp gw. Tapi saking sibuknya gw (meetingnya di ruang belakang, deket gudang, berisik bok), gw lupa ngecek ke depan apakah taxinya udah dateng atau belum.

Kira kira 20 menit dari jam 7, gw keluar ke depan, dan taxinya udah markir didepan. Karena meetingnya belum selesai, gw say sorry ke pengemudinya, minta ditunggu kira2 setengah jam lagi, jadi sekitar jam 8 kurang baru gw jalan. Kalo mau argonya dinyalakan juga gpp. Di luar dugaan, pengemudinya bilang dia tidak bisa kalo harus diminta nunggu. Alasannya karena dia juga lagi ditunggu sama langganannya, mau dijemput jam setengah sembilan. “Udah pasti ngga keburu,” katanya. Belum gw sempat ngomong apa apa lagi, pengemudinya udah bilang, “kalo gitu dibatalin aja ya, mbak order lagi aja ya,” dengan nada yang dibuat terburu2, sambil start mesin mobilnya. Itu langsung loh, ga pake basa basi apa apa lagi. Akhirnya dengan lirih gw bilang ok. Ga ada 1 menit itu mobil udah pergi.

 

Points:
– Gw shock tiba tiba ditinggal begitu.
– Memang kesalahan gw juga, karena tidak ngecek ke luar apakah taxinya sudah sampai, tepat jam 7. Tapi sebelumnya waktu gw order di telepon, customer servicenya juga sudah bilang bahwa nanti akan di-sms oleh pengemudi kalo dia sudah sampai. Gw tidak terima sms si pengemudi, yang gw terima adalah sms dari Blue Bird, yang mana sms itu hanya konfirmasi kalo taxinya sudah menuju ke sini, bukan sudah sampai.
– Gw tidak tahu apakah Blue Bird boleh menolak penumpang atau tidak. Tapi memang baru sekali ini gw ditolak sama taxinya.

Rasanya kayak sedih, kuciwa. Sedih banget, malah. Gw bingung juga, apakah memang ada aturan tidak boleh nungguin penumpang walaupun jam jemputnya udah lewat. Tapi kalo sudah menomorsatukan langganan, ya gw bisa bilang apa. Cuma, rasanya koq masih mengganjal sampe sekarang. It’s like, orang commit ke gw dia akan jemput (apapun kondisinya), tapi begitu gw nya nongol, “hey I’m sorry, I have more important person to pick up.”

Ya sebenernya gw juga gak mau nyalahin pengemudi, karena mungkin dia pikir, ah dari Gadung ke Gading deket ini, ambil aja orderannya sambil nunggu jam jemput langganannya. Tapi gw juga gak mau merasa kecewa kayak gini. Baru kali ini gw rasanya koq sedih banget. Ditolak dan ditinggalkan. Doesn’t it resemble something to you? Iya, kayak ditinggal pacar.

 

TSS.

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cerita

I Miss My Dad.

I was going to bed, and seconds after my eyes closed, I was growing tears. I guess dealing with a lone life, the terrible landlord, fake friends, colleagues, daily job, bosses, taxi drivers, lifts that make me dizzy, dogs, monkeys, bad people, and not seeing my family for almost two years now, it all came out as particles mixed in the water. Maybe that’s why tears are so ‘spicy’. They carry feelings.

I suddenly remember my dad. Not that I don’t think about him everyday, but especially tonight, I don’t know, I just miss him. Sometimes I feel like leaving all these stuffs behind and just, going back home and running into him. I feel crazy and out of myself right now.

He’s probably not the best or the kindest person in the world, but he is almost the perfect reflection of God to me. He’s like my version of Jonathan Kent. You know, Clark’s ‘earth father’. Actually he is the one who made Clark the Superman we know today 🙂 There were times me and him would get into a fight, of course, or should I say he is the one who brought most of the fight because he had a not-so-good temper (I inherited it ;p), but also, because I’m the only daughter, I feel loved. And now I only know that he has nothing but good intentions for my life. Fathers protect. Fathers provide. Fathers love. Fathers plan. Fathers know how to figure out.

I remember that he would get things for me, just because I wanted them so bad. I remember he got so angry because I blew the telephone bills. ;p I remember he got into a fight with an parking attendant just because he thought that the road portal was illegal and he didn’t want to pay the ticket. Over the last years I see him grow as much mature person, but I know he deserves to be called a good father a long way before. He became the most hard-working person, lives a very casual life, pays attention more to his health, and manages at better character. Maybe one thing that still best kept is he doesn’t like wearing shirts. ;D

I love my dad. People can say anything about my family and I know somehow the pasts always follow our trails, but others don’t know what they don’t know ’cause they really don’t know. Sometimes people say that they wish they had realize something before, and it’s too late. I don’t wanna be like that, by treasuring and thanking God for what’s in front of me right now. Maybe he is one of the few things that make me still talking to Him, to keep my dad safe. I miss him so bad I would burst, and I hope I’ll see him soon.

Those four hipsies are my family 😉

~TSS.

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